Lessons for my Daughter

 

At the end of each year I try to make out time to post something light hearted and fun (read last year’s Christmas post here). This year, I am not sure if it is excess estrogen or the infamous biological time piece, but I find myself day dreaming a lot about having a little girl. So, this post is dedicated to my unborn daughter; a few life lessons I would love to share.
Dear Baby Girl,
I know you think I am old and uncool but I have had my fair share of coolness, heck your Dad still thinks I am cool *fingers crossed* anyways, I thought you might find it useful if I share some tips and rules from my life, lessons I have learnt, lessons I have watched my friends learn and lessons handed down to me from your grandma and my grandma.

The first and most important rule, never, EVER dig for treasures in public! EVER!! Listen, you need to decide very early on in your life if you are going to be a lady or not. If you pick the former, digging for treasures is a big NO! Lady-hood comes at a price!!

Now unto the less important rules.

I know you must have heard me say this a million times, sex appeal doesn’t mean trashy. You don’t need to have all your assets hanging out in the open to get a guy’s attention. You need to learn the difference between being sexy and being trashy, being alluring and being “girl put some damn clothes on!”.

Second rule, even if you are wearing pants/shorts always sit with your legs closed or crossed, square shoulders, straight back. Don’t be afraid to look anyone in the eye and always smile at the doorman.

Now unto boys, I know you have been wondering when I would get to this part. Your grandma always says, men are babies and should be nurtured, I agree when the man in question came out from my uterus but baby, men are adults and should be treated as such, don’t fall into the fix-it cycle of trying to mold a half-baked boy into some semblance of a man, if he aint got it, he just aint! Learn to recognize the diamond in the rough that would be worth the investment of your time.
 
Also, if a man is rude to his mama or sisters or even strangers, trust me girl, he will be rude to you too, its just a matter of time before that alluring charm wears thin.

And, if a man ever attempts to raise his hand at you, makes sure you knock him unconscious with the heaviest item in d room, if you cant, run as fast as you can to the nearest police station, don’t you ever bait a man into hitting you or make the mistake of thinking you can take him on!
 
Great sex is not love! “He gets me”, is not love. “I love his eyes”, is not love. “I love his voice”, again still not love. “I think he is hot”, sweetie, don’t even go there!. Don’t make that face and don’t ask me what love is, when I find out, i will let you know. Wait! At this point i am married to your Dad right? Guess I found love then, looking forward to that post 😉

Finally, on men. When you pick a man and you are sure you found a good thing, commit to him 100%. I mean forget the feminist crap and be a good woman. If he is stupid enough to mess that up, don’t beat up yourself wondering how you ever dated such a jackass, every man has an iota of greatness, however, only a few ever rise to the occasion. Cry your tears over some chocolate ice cream and sappy romantic comedies, dry your eyes and move on!

To cap this up, a few fashion tips. Always use water proof mascara. If you are anything like me you will get teary eyed often.

Don’t be afraid to use red in your wardrobe, on your lips but never on your eyes or cheeks.

Keep your skin hydrated and clean.

Keep your favorite lip color in your purse at all times and a tampon too.
 
Always carry a handkerchief, body mist and book in your car or hang bag.
 
Learn how to change a tyre.

I could go on and on, but I think I covered most of the man points here.

Love you loads,

Mum.